everlasting

Everlasting, You are eternal
Beyond merely existing
Your nature is constant,
Is constantly dependable.

Sturdy, Your love is robust
Not flinching or looking away
It sees all that was, is and will be,
Yet gives itself to love, forgive and be hurt
Over and over and over again.

Punctured, my soul it leaks
For though I receive Your love
Life, this world they batter and wear me down
Each piercing another drop that drips till I'm dry.

But unchanging, how glad I am You are,
Always full to fill my heart,
Always fool to love me still,
Always Father to we, failed and abandoned.

Everlasting, You alone are unequalled.

sč
KL, December 27th, 2007

advenio

Silently, secretly, You broke into our world,
No trumpets, no fanfare,
Just scruffy shepherds and smelly straw,
Noisy animals, the clueless wise.
Was it what You'd expected?

Thirty plus years walking our dirt,
Babies slaughtered in Your honour,
Voices raised in Your defense,
Ears severed for Your sake.
Were we what You'd expected?

Still now, years and births after,
To peace, our hearts and wills no closer,
So though You came then to save and sacrifice,
Perhaps this was less a final answer,
Than a reminder of our still desperate need for rescue,
That to You, we'd not cease looking for.
Maybe You're more than all we'd expected?

Rev. 22: 17, 20

sč
Singapore, December 5th, 2007

today

I awoke at 8
I tossed at 8.15
I fussed at 8.30
I agonized at 8.45
I cursed at 9
And so the day began ...

A windy day
A sleepy day
A restless day
A disgruntled day

What good will come out of today?
Babbling of some sort?
About the past and the future?
About the present to anyone who would hear?

Of a celebration, Love is inviting
Of a River, warmth is refreshing
Of a good Book, peace is silencing
Of a discipline, freedom is compelling
Of a life, uncertainty is assuring
Of a Crown, grace is carrying

Just sharing, of all sorts
About the past and the future
About the present to only one who would hear
Oh, what good has come out of today

A sunny day
A wakening day
A contented day
A blessed day
And so the day begins ...

js
Singapore, November 30th, 2007

pure in heart

Blessed are the pure in heart,
Not through merit of our own,
But have surrendered to Christ
Utterly, all our evils ... and our virtues.

This purity is not passive, pretty or pristine,
Why, it consumes all of heart, soul and mind,
Desperately, dangerously, risking greatly,
Till the only name humanity knows is 'fanatic'.
And that is true, without rival,
Our love will not be divided.

So in our intense longing,
Will You not give us eyes to see,
The sight to perceive You and Your ways,
That once we have truly seen,
All other things no longer compel or satisfy.

Matt. 5: 8

sč
Singapore, November 16th, 2007

lover

Why do I love you?
May I measure the ways ...

Not for what you do for me,
Though it's more than I ask,
Not for what you make of me,
Though in you I am becoming,
Not for where you lead me,
Though the peaks and depths bring a gasp,
Not for what you can give,
Though your sacrifice gives me life.

Not because you are beautiful beyond measure,
Not because you are faultless and just,
For this is not something to grasped rationally.

No, I love you because you are mine,
And I am yours.

sč
KL, November 8th, 2007

blessed are the merciful

Blessed are the merciful,
The ones who give kindness away,
When all around would assert their rights,
You let go that others need not pay.

Though we may not see it so,
Showing mercy lies in the will of those who have,
Who have the rights to yield,
Who have the choice to choose,
The sinners and the wretched.
Casting aside their dignity and honour,
Unmoved by the shame that others cannot see past.

And so we give and surrender,
Not till it hurts but till all is gone,
And the respect and name that we lose,
Is nothing to be mourned or missed.
For our only honour is His own mercy,
In which alone we hope and owe our lives.

Matt. 5: 7

sč
Singapore, October 26th, 2007

captivate

Like a babe grasping father's fingers,
An infant watching falling water,
A child at dragons and knights,
Or the lowlander at mountain's peak.

Like the norsemen's yearly sunrise,
Or first Man's first love,
Like the waiter pouring water and finding wine,
Or the right-minded fisherman finding left-minded fish,
Like the fatherless son finding a home,
Only to see it had pursued him all along.

You arrest my attention,
Dropping my jaw with wonder.
Quieten my excuses,
Enveloping my questions,
And making me Your captive.

sč
Singapore, October 24th, 2007

sustain (into a child)

High above the ground,
Small feet dangling over,
Seated, waiting, at rest,
Every need known and attended.

Worry a word unknown,
Trust a natural choice,
For before my asking even,
Each meal, each garment given.

But with time and childish things to lose,
Did growing up mistake the childlike ways to include?
As anxiety would rule my thoughts,
Me, the master of my destiny,
If only destiny had been told to cooperate.

So, as older and older I am,
There is less and less I can,
And clearer and brighter my eyes do see.
For every breath, every step and more,
Is the path You open to lay out,
While others I'd taken for granted You close away.
In every part, my life You sustain,
Raising, growing me into a child again.

sč
Singapore, October 23rd, 2007

zede

Dear Zede, you grin.
Chuckling silently, shy eyes twinkling,
Oh, to know what dreams your heart is wishing!

Never luxury, but both from and into,
Were you born the seed of faith of two,
Your life to speak that we would hear,
'He, only He is, my salvation.'

Now, for stubborn legs,
And a body weighed to this earth,
You are borne on the love and prayers,
Of them that chose not this burden,
But would not trade it, if only to see you fly.

So dream away, dear Zede,
Not the dreams to escape existence,
But His vision that is whole and hope,
That breathes into your weary spirit and bones,
And calls you forth, "Rise up, my precious one."

sč
KL, October 4th, 2007

blessed are those who hunger

Blessed are those who hunger,
Who feel a rumble and a stirring,
The spirit recognising a lack,
A need, but what quite for?

From others we hear, 'Be ye righteous,
Perfection is the condition for the blessing.'
But try as I might, my nature weighs like millstones,
And all I can muster is a longing for virtue,
For righteousness beyond sugary satisfaction.

But contrary as is Your irony,
You make righteousness the gift and grace,
And a longing for it our only requirement.
So in seeking we are ever aware of our lack,
And in Your promise to fill and fulfill,
We are led into the paradox that is a wonder,
Our blessing: always longing, always filled.

Matt. 5: 6

sč
Singapore, September 20th, 2007

poeima

Many times You speak,
Across the pages and across our lives we've heard.
Whether calling essence from absence,
Or speaking quietness to storm,
Your voice rumbles and pulses, never silenced.

But life is not always sound,
And looking around, I wonder,
Are we a comedy or tragedy in motion,
The destiny of our lives swirling around an alphabet soup?

In the Word, three times Your finger traced,
Across stone, wall and sand.
Each one to convict, instruct and invite.
But stone crumbles, wall falls, sand is swept away,
And to time, each message is lost.

Though You can wipe the slate, start anew,
You persist to write, choosing the hardest surface,
Redeeming the tragedy of our lives.
Not as one working through a chore,
But as an artist fashioning an epic.
May You not discard until we are complete.

Eph. 2: 10

sč
Singapore, September 14th, 2007

though He linger

I've been sitting in the twilight,
Waiting for the sun,
Looking for Your coming,
Listening for a word to point my way.

You desire not slothfulness,
And I seek not idleness,
But to every side a closed door,
To every path a dead end,
And every decline pushes me deeper into my seat.

Why do You delay?
Why are You slow to act?

The revelation awaits its appointed time.
It speaks of the end and will not prove false.
Though He linger, wait for Him.
He will surely come and will not delay.

And so though You linger,
I know it's not to loiter.
For what purpose I cannot tell,
Except to know none can put off,
The rescue You will bring into our lives.
And nothing done or undone,
Can delay You while You linger.

Hab. 2: 2-3

sč
Singapore, September 1st, 2007

how beautiful, how wonderful

How beautiful, how wonderful
Are You, are Your works,
Are You, and Your grace,
You are, and Your face.

What do we know of beauty,
That is not from You?
What is this longing for wonder,
If You did not plant in our hearts?

Petals stretching to wake,
Wind whistling to storm,
Sunsets painting the sky,
Creatures rising in ovation.

A turn of phrase,
A lifting melody,
A quickening within,
Our spirits recognise.

How beautiful, how wonderful
Are You, O Lord.
Fill us with awe once again.

sč
Singapore, August 28th, 2007

blessed are the meek

Blessed are the meek,
Those whom the strong despise,
For though it sounds like weak,
Its reality is found in Christ.

To you who are gentle and humble of heart,
Lowly, unassuming, even helpless we see,
May your burden be toward others to edify,
And your eyes off the self to justify.

The Spirit grant you patience in affront,
A cheek to turn and rise and take the blows,
For though none may see your quiet faith and trust bear fruit,
Take heart; the earth, this inheritance, will be your tribute.

Matt. 5: 5

sč
Singapore, August 15th, 2007

blessed are those who mourn

Blessed are those who mourn,
We whose hearts are broken,
Our burdens saddled with helplessness,
Reeling and grieving from the blows life gives.

But the bearing of the mourning is not in despairing,
For this suffering is a door into communion,
With You who suffered and mourned as an alien,
Cast out, rejected and crushed on a tree.

And so from this dark comes relief,
Not with an answer but a presence,
For our afflictions are but a hollowing out,
A dwelling for You and Your comfort,
Unto which brings infinite joy.

Matt. 5: 4

sč
Singapore, August 14th, 2007

poor in spirit

Blessed are the poor in spirit,
The feeble, not the mighty,
The child humble enough to accept,
Not the soldier in whose own prowess he boasts.

Though poor in spirit we do not revel in the dust,
We see ourselves and find empty hands,
We see His glory and know we're losers apart from Him,
Unto which we're grateful for everything is now a gift.

And so we are poor to be rich,
No longer consuming, may we be consumed by You.
We are detached from what we can own,
And now attached to what we cannot own,
For the Kingdom is not to be grasped in the future,
It is a gift You give for the now.

Matt. 5: 3

sč
Singapore, August 9th, 2007

my father's son

Who is this face I see?
Where does he come from?
Where is he going?

I hear the anger and impatience,
This love for knowing what's always best.
I glimpse a pride called humility,
And eyes masking fear and insecurity.
I see my loneliness and am reminded of my father.

Long have I feared this,
Where who I could be fades into who he is,
And the best attempts at avoidance,
Throw me deeper into futile unfaithfulness.
After all, am I not my father's son?

Saviour, throw me a lifeline,
Hear this plea from one despairing,
Change me from within,
From all that I wish I was not,
To all that You are.
Form a heart that's heavy into a heart that gives,
Give me a mirror that shows my self in You,
And make me into my Father's son.

sč
KL, June 30th, 2007

we'll not pass this way again

Here is where the road divides,
For a season we've walked beside,
But time now beckons us,
And the Spirit draws between our paths.

Though words fall so short,
I wrap my mind and give shape to these thoughts.

So of all the things I could,
I wish you not comfort but risky abandon,
Not of guarantees I may not keep,
Of illusions that nothing will change.
I wish you glorious mystery and wonder,
Of an edge to leap off and soar beyond yourself,
Of a life to live, not just exist.
For the future is a flower not yet budded.

So here in this moment,
I bid you godspeed,
Remembering blessings given and received,
And this fellowship we've shared.
For as the future blooms
To mark our different paths,
We'll not pass this way again.

sč
KL, June 27th, 2007

big enough

Big enough ...
to hear a lonely sob
to answer a silent plea
to comfort a shattered spirit
to reconcile a broken fellowship
God is big enough.

Big enough ...
to touch a despairing heart
to quieten an intimidating fear
to renew an afflicted body
to provide every single penny
God is big enough.

Big enough ...
to feel an aching grief
to carry a bitter burden
to pardon a careless betrayal
to restore a wounded relationship
God is big enough.

Big enough ...
to lift a hopeless failure
to revive a weary soul
to redeem a lost cause
to understand a daunting task
God is big enough.

Big enough ...
to love a reckless rebel
to confront a debating sceptic
to rebuke an indifferent pride
to overturn a godless order
God is big enough.

js
KL, June 24th, 2007

living in the lion's mouth

Never been content to exist,
My heart always longed for more.
Around me voices pester,
"What life will you make for yourself?"

"Believe in yourself,
Be all that you can be,
Fight for what you want,
Never stop striving."

Is this all there is to life?

You cause a stirring in my spirit,
Inviting me beyond myself.
When my mind understands not,
And others predict failure,
Your gentle peace pursues my heart.

"Give it up, let it go,
Life us not chasing security,
Trust is not leaving one hand tied to a net."

Never been content to exist,
Glorious anticipation, our hearts wonder,
"What life will You lead us to?"

So here we are,
Between the lion and the lemming,
Each choice a step away from self,
Toward safety in His jaws,
For the Lion is an angel.

sč
KL, June 15th, 2007

the warrior

Weapon in hand,
Your fists clenched,
No mercy expected,
Suited and braced for battle.

"Living is surviving,
Strive and grasp for yourself,
For all others will beat you down."

"This is being in the real world,
Grace and mercy spell weakness,
Tis' a nice but unrealistic ideal."

And so your life I see,
Swinging from anger to insecurity,
Always guarded, never trusting,
Poverty of spirit eating your soul.

It doesn't have to be so ....

Lay down your burdens,
His yoke is easy.
His eyes see all,
There is nothing to prove.
His heart is willing,
And His arms able.
For He fought death,
To save us from ourselves.

"So come on home",
Calls the Father, "Come on home."
The battle's over, Christ has won.

for Dad

sč
KL, June 13th, 2007

shame (part 1)

I see you in the corner,

Never speaking, never moving.

Hidden from view,

Long fingers silently gripping,

The air thick with unspoken shame.

Looking, not all see you,

Your silhouette crouching behind,

The smile called apology.

Reminders of past pain,

Wrongs spoken in carelessness,

Eyes averting the elephant in the room.

But now I call you out,

Expose your machinations.

You plead for my company,

But I turn my ear to deafness.

sč

KL, May 27th, 2007

life together

Six years away,
A step back, friendships renewed,
Our conversations before?
My mind recalls not,
But my spirit recognises the bond.

Five days with you,
News relayed, stories recounted,
Our struggles formed into words,
The Spirit's move in our lives we share.

Community, we say we aspire to it,
Do we understand what we ask?
No more idle words or empty postures,
This is the time to be vulnerable,
For in finite time,
Programmes for humerus matter not.

Community, you say you want it,
But what will you give up for it?
Slick masks belying reality,
Moving lips filling uncomfortable silences,
Busy bodies dancing on a string.

What price the spurring of our spirits?
"No, not here, my life in comfort being,
Everyone happy, content in shallowness."
But do you want social existence,
Or life together?

sč
Prague, May 17th, 2007

two trains, two ferries & a bus

Awake at the crack,

Bags to carry, miles to go.

Seemed good at the time,

Where are we going again?

Wings landing,

Running to train,

Got it! A moment to breath.

Wheels arrive,

Stations to change,

Missed ... now two hours to kill.

Midday comes,

Train now running.

From station to port,

Past city, field, hill, river and loch,

People fading into lambs.

'Tis clockwork now,

Off the ground, past the water and over the hills.

Eaglet taking off,

Our trappings left behind.

Standing on the shore,

I am a tower,

Looking out,

Here at the edge of the world.

Amazed at the dusk,

The hours we counted, miles we traversed.

Seemed good at the time,

But who needs good when here is astounding?

sč

Iona, May 6th, 2007

remembering you

One year today,
You passed on, your pain ended.
His hands calling, arms holding,
Our tears flowing, we let you go ....

One year today,
Our hearts aching, we remember,
The gowns and tubes, the suffering and fear,
The questions with no answers.

But beyond that ....

I remember ...
Care given, laughs shared,
Concern shown, tears shed.
Your heart revealed in service of others.

I remember ...
Hardships endured, anxieties hidden,
Difficult lives you bore,
In prayer and in deeds.

I remember ...
Time that should have been made,
Hurt that could have been saved,
Love that should have been said.

This was not the song's end we would have planned,
But I remember,
And I'm thankful for the art your life was to mine.

For what your life was in whole,
The smiles, the heartache, the love,
I remember them all.
Remembering you.

for Mum

sč
KL, May 6th, 2007

green three

In my mind I dreamed of you,
Visions from a page,
The broken stones and big fields.

In the wind, in the blowing of the pipes,
I hear your land bleed in its songs.

To a continent lost and growing darker,
You gave your sons,
Each one a burning candle.

And though beaten,
You were not conquered, not crushed,
Your spirit survives through ages,
Rumbling beneath,
One day to break free.

In my mind or in my ears,
I see your eyes and hear your voice,
Though pain and hardship afflict,
Your gaze still shows to three,
Father, Son and Spirit.

sč
Dublin, May 5th, 2007

storm rising

Parched and dry,

Drowning in drought,

Despair encircling,

A shadow hovers over my soul.

I feel the breath stolen from me,

My faith, it withers in the dust,

And darkness tightens my bones.

Early Sunday morning.

A rumble in the ground,

A ripple through the leaves,

A whisper in the breeze ....

Can you hear it?

The ground shakes,

The curtain rips,

The stone groans,

A woman gasps.

I can hear it in the wind,

The breaking of a cynic,

The turning of a heart.

While the Liar taunts,

"See, the destruction I have wrought."

Still, your Spirit moves,

Making flesh from stone,

Life from lifelessness.

Incline Your ear, hear our prayer ....

The breath that breathes anew,

The storm to flood my desert,

From the deep that calls unto deep,

Rise up within and speak.

Call forth the lifeless,

The dry bones to dance.

Awaken our spirits.

Come O Lord, and move us.

sč

KL, April 18th, 2007

between the dates

Sometimes I walk,
Sometimes I run.
Sometimes I stumble and fall,
Other times I climb and crawl.

Sometimes the path is smooth,
Sometimes it's straight.
Sometimes it's winding,
Other times it's rough and stony.

Sometimes a company of good cheer,
Sometimes a strong arm, a pat on the back.
Sometimes I trudge in silence,
Other times a wound to my side is all I feel.

You looked up and ahead when all feared the rear,
You were white and true in a sea of yellow.
Your name is known for the race you ran to gold,
But your life was great for its witness to grace.

What will be my race's sum at the final line?
The dash between the dates.

Inspired by E.H. Liddell

sč
KL, April 7th, 2007

rainbow baby

Like warm summer rain,
You stole into our lives.
Fragile and trusting,
A delicate bundle into our hands.

Like sunshine on fur tuxes,
You were colour to our lives.
A chase, a pounce, a nap, a stretch,
Such simple pleasures we enjoyed.
Spiritedly free, still choosing dependence,
Awaking a love we'd never known.

Like a grave before a name,
You were too soon.
Our eyes rain, our hearts ache,
Our minds hold to memories left behind ....

I close my eyes and see you,
Eyes smiling, my fingers stroking,
Your voice content as you patiently wait,
On that bridge past time.

for Munchkins

sč
KL, March 27th, 2007

plastic

Perfect.
You stroll by,
A life with no lack.
In smile, object and answer,
We look, envy and wonder.

Slick.
You glide by,
Cool, calm, collected.
Each separate strand in place,
Still something hidden behind your face.

Cold.
You pass by,
Numbed by pain, caged in demands.
Limbs locking, too stiff to stand,
As you lose the feeling in your hands.

Fake.
You stumble by,
In steps, waxing physical.
The laughs around you rise,
While the pulse within slowly dies.

Lifeless.
We wander by,
Your eyes glazed, the change complete.
What a perfect smile, our glances think,
And on and on, the carnival sinks.

sč
KL, March 14th, 2007

a slap on the thigh

I went to the potter,
To see, not just look,
To listen, not just hear,
To understand, not just learn.

A lump, shapeless and small,
No worth, mere brown clay.

Two hands, crossed legs,
A firm grip, a twinkle in his eye,
his arm raised, my eyes wide.

Wham!

Hard on His leg, where thigh is knee,
Blow after blow, clay as club,
No flinch, just me wince.

Why the beating, why so harsh?

Potter shows, my eyes move close,
Brown clay? No, long grains.
All particles, as atoms,
Moving in chaos, for each its own.

Wham!
Grains shift, ends align,
Purpose coming to chaos.

Wham!
All in line, no trace of self,
Clay made soft, now to mould.

I went to the Potter,
And saw my life in brown clay.

Jer. 18: 2-4

sč
KL, 10th March, 2007

never enough

How awesome are You,
How lofty are Your ways.

Like catching the wind,
Like counting the stars,
Like colours to the blind,
Like music to the deaf,
You are ever beyond our comprehension.

We will never have enough of You,
But we will try anyway,
Because that's the idea.

sč
KL, February 12th, 2007

some scars

I mourned a relationship lost.
My life no longer welcome,
Its presence marked with shame.
Would it ever be the same again?

A chasm formed, the bridges burned,
The eyes hurt, the smiles shallow,
The songs painful, the words awkward.
Would we ever be the same?

Wounds subside,
Anger dissipates,
Memories numb with time.
Still, some scars never fade.

sč
KL, February 12th, 2007

fill

My heart fails within me ....
Fill.

My strength turns to dust ....
Fill.

My eyes weep no end ....
Fill.

My mind screams ....
Fill.

My words ring empty ....
Fill.

O, I hear the darkness call ....
Fill.

Please.

Spirit, breathe in me again ....
Fill.

You birth life from death ....
Fill.

You bring beauty from ashes ....
Fill.

You make art from brokenness ....
Fill.

You redeem me from the pit ....
Fill.

You are my only hope ....
Fill.

O God, do not delay ....
Fill.

sč
KL, February 10th, 2007

in Him

I will run ...

I will run to the Lord.

I will hide ...

I will hide in the Lord.

I will rest ...

I will rest with the Lord.

In Him I find peace,

In Him I find comfort,

In Him all anger melts away,

In Him all bitterness dissolves.

In Him I find refuge,

In Him I find security,

In Him all sadness turns to joy,

In Him all heaviness turns to dancing.

He alone is my strength,

He alone is my confidence,

Unchanging ...

Unfailing ...

The same, yesterday, today ...

And forevermore ....

My eyes brim with tears,

When I remember the times the Lord rescued me.

Oh, that my heart would never forget,

That my mouth would never cease to sing,

Of His gracious tender mercies,

Of His great amazing love,

Of His everlasting faithfulness.

js
KL, February 6th, 2007

truth-way-life

You, O Lord, are the truth,

You, O Lord, are the way,

You, O Lord, are the life.

To whom shall I go?

To whom shall I turn?

All have retreated,

All have gone away.

Where else can I go?

Where else can I turn?

Hope in the Lord, O my soul,

I say again, hope in the Lord.

Let my eyes look toward heaven,

Let my heart not be shaken,

Let my feet not walk astray.

Trust in the Lord, O my soul,

I say again, trust in the Lord.

He who presents the truth,

He who shows the way,

He who gives one life.

You, my Lord, are my truth,

You, my Lord, are my way,

You, my Lord, are my life.

Therefore I shall hope in the Lord,

Therefore I shall trust in the Lord.

js
KL, February 3rd, 2007

in the breaking

This is not the way it was to be,
Not the way it was to end.
A blow to the face,
A slap from the hand of a friend.

Was it for this I gave myself?
Was this the return I sought?
A curse from behind,
My foes laugh, they gloat from afar.

Where are you, O Lord?
Why do harsh words prevail?
Who will plead my case, defend my honour?

Vindicate me, O Lord.
O Hand of History, reveal my heart,
Even if none else see.
Vindicate me, O Lord.

I wait for You here,
In the breaking.

sč
KL, February 2nd, 2007